the experience

its becoming self aware. knowing all parts of yourself, and how u really feel about yourself. everything is heightened and magnifyed. its thinking so far ahead you forgot where you started. overloading your systems with thoughts. detachment from ones body with controlling limbs. realizing the dark slowness of my feelings. knowing there is this complex in me to get fucked up, to cover up the pain. this is all an episode in my life, a crisis. ive gotta stop living to fix every past mistake until its this endless cycle where i realize i have no substance and am just covering up every blur with other ones. its getting lost within ones mind. i need to start living and move forward for the sake of moving forward.. progress, unrestricted from sorrow. and when the mind feels it has made all the landmark self discoveries for the night, the body shuts down, tired of people lapped by the mind.